My phone is a piece of bleeeeeep

So I’ve been involved in a project since graduation that I sort of failed to mention here somehow (Possibly because of my post detailing how many projects I have in the works currently that remain incomplete)

Anyways, I’ve been using my phone as a camera, since I don’t currently own a camera. Problem being, my phone’s camera—sucks. But, I’ve made my peace knowing that I don’t intend for the photos to be blown up to some 8x10s and hung on a gallery wall. These photos are really just snapshots and studies while I sit and think (Er, move and think since I’m usually out when I’m doing this project)

So, I’ve been taking photos of paired objects. (See below for one example if you REAAAAALLY don’t get what I’m saying here) Problem is that my phone memory also sucks, not just my camera. (Put it this way and save yourself some time: My non-smart phone sucks. Period) Who knew there were so many instances of paired objects in my daily life? Maybe it’s sort of like how most people don’t notice all the coupled people when til you’re single on Valentine’s Day? Anyways…

And to settle some curiosities for the not so interested/obsessive, why, why am I taking an interest? I love paired objects. I love the way they look (Not really for the symmetry people—in fact, they don’t even need to be the exact same object) I love their conceptual framework (I over-think everything) I love their surrogacy (Repeat, I over-think everything) I just love them (I realize my last few entries have made me sound like I’m potentially constantly shroomin with all the love but I promise I’m not)

Anyways, I need to figure out how to transfer all of these before my phone inevitably explodes (It has the temperament of a “terrible twos” toddler being told they got nothing for Christmas this year) and transferring them one by one by sending them to my email is really getting out of hand. Give me ideas, por favor!

At the eye doctor… love
Best,
MP

It was not magnificent.

YAY so I’m finally becoming an adult. Why, you may ask? Because I drew something and fought off the urge to light it on fire (something emilyvanhoff has been trying to teach me how to do for about 3 years now)

Took the picture on my non-smart phone. (Someday I’ll invest in a scan—no, I probably won’t)
So it looks even shittier than it does in person.
Best,
MP

My mother’s English, AND she speaks english!

So, on the verge of worrying that I really haven’t finished anything in awhile (I got the guilt when I was forced to ‘eat my words’, so to speak, after I posted about how I had about 100 projects in the works that are incomplete at this exact moment—my current tally is 63 when I re-examine, FYI, so I’m better than I thought) I found the energy to somehow finish something (to approximately 93% done) so I’m celebrating as finished due to the lack of optimism currently present and amount of optimism greatly needed in my life at this exact moment in time (aka, don’t shit on my parade, Tom)

Things I feel are imparing my ability to finish things in a timely way:
-Sleep schedule: I do my best work at night. Unfortunately, I am currently employed (look at the way it sounds like I’m complaining about being employed in IL… a state with one of the highest unemployment rates in the country, good Lord) and in being so at a job that requires you to work days, I have no ability to stay up as late as my brain would desire to facilitate the mind-state I need to get shit done.
-Drugs: Not the illegal kind, but the kind that have commercials featuring things like green butterflies and the like. Because my brain likes to work best at around 3AM, I need to take sleeping medication to keep me, you know, asleep. Unfortunately, the side effects of these drugs (I’ve tried all kinds!) that actually keep me asleep and help me fall asleep (I have had issues with both since I was about 10) are insane. I’m not even kidding. Not only do I act like a fool if I am up longer than a half hour after I take them (and trust me, I do), but I am just horribly un-functional in the brain during the hours I am awake and supposed to be (Literally, these groggy-mornings crap take until about 12:40PM to actually wear off which is ridiculous), no matter WHAT amount of sleep I get. I decided to test a recent theory that I don’t actually need the drugs anymore to fall asleep this weekend, and found it to be completely UNTRUE. I didn’t fall asleep until around 4AM Saturday night. Good Lord.
-Time: I hate blaming time, because I’m often one who’s like “If it was something you really wanted to do, you’d make the time”… Unfortunately, I really don’t find the time, even when I want to do it. Seriously, there are days you could come to me and say “Eat this tray of brownies” and I’d (begrudgingly) say “I can’t. I have to go to work!” (Best toddler tantrum voice you could possibly read that in is completely appropriate) Really, it’s getting to the point where there’s so many things going on (No, I’m not just blaming you employment!) that my friends are having to actually schedule weekends in advance (See: my weekend in Aurora… scheduled by Cari three weeks ago)
-Personal Issues: This is really a sub category to Time, because these things are what are taking up my time. But, since this is not a diary (thank God), I’m not going to vomit my entire life out all over your internet. Just know that they’re personal, and even if I like you I probably won’t tell you all about them (personality flaw). So just know that you can pray for me (if you’re into that thing), wish your good vibes my way, or just simply be patient with me and i’ll pretty much love you forever (even if I have a funny way of showing it)

Speaking of things I love, this weekend was filled with people i love. here’s just two of them and the weird flowerchild-esque ways we choose to spend our time together, running through botanical gardens and loving life in the great outdoors on a 60-something degree day in Chicago during the end of October.

I’ll post some pictures of the book when I can.

Best,
MP

Pandora is really failing me.

So it takes me* MONTHS upon months upon months to complete my end of the project we’ve been working on. And when I do, just in time to get a mock-up printed, what happens? He gets a new stroke of genius.

And I am trying to complete the original project, because project ADD is one of my biggest issues I’m facing at this point (put it this way, I probably have close to a hundred projects “in the works” right now, simply because if I can’t get it perfect, I delay doing it, and then come up with something else to do, enabling the cycle)

Anyways, I haven’t completed it. But I’m at around 85%, which is about 4x more complete than I typically leave things.

So I get this text:

“New idea. I’ll get back to you on the deets. POGS”
(Peace out Girl Scout, for those who are like pogs? what a crappy nickname –I agree with you. it would be if it was one)

So naturally, I’m half “YAAAAAY<3333″ and half “The fever has reached my brain and i’ll have to be destroyed” about this whole thing. and the YAAAAAY half takes off, and causes me to respond impatiently. I really need to get me under control. Anyways, so I get a follow up message later on.

“Idea: what if we just wrote stories based on song lyrics? You have to use every line. And you can’t just pick your sufjan shit or iron&wine, because that’s sort of cheating since they’re just storytellers anyways.” Reading it I said to myself ‘Sufjan is not shit!’ and made a disgruntled face/gesture, but I got the drift. It is kinda like cheating.

But here’s the thing. the first round of 10 stories literally took me SIX MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT. And I’m still not sure I’m done with them. And who can pick just one song? Not me. I change my mind everyday during lunch at work (when I’m reading sociology texts and practicing writing “Superb.” in 102 different font styles—watch Empire Records and get back to me).

To be a smarmy bastard (because let’s face it, it’s who I am), I asked if i could write one based off of Mychael Danna’s work on the (500) Days of Summer film (his work was instrumental, for those who don’t get the irony here… no lyrics!)

He didn’t even dignify it with a response. Now that’s self control!

Anyways! Help a sister out. I need suggestions. I should probably like the song, but don’t stress over trying to make that work if the lyrics are a good platform to start from.

And maybe while I have about 10 people working on picking a song, I can just focus on finishing this mock up so I don’t have to add a lifetime onto the “How long I’ve been working on this” list.

Yeah, right.

PS: I should clarify: Pandora is currently playing excellent music on this station, but thumbs up one Explosions in the Sky song, and be prepared for nothing but excellent instrumentals, which really isn’t helping me choose song lyrics, as much as my ears are enjoying themselves.

* = ‘us’ technically, but my OCD seems to be making it more of a personal mission to destroy myself.

Look at me now.

So tom’s been giving me shit that I haven’t “done anything but bitch” about art and art history (he is not one to consider theorizing and writing in your sketchbook actually being productive… he tends to judge things by their physical results)

Anyways. I figured I should mention that I’m still working on my weird text thoughts having to do with the meaning of a repeated phrase changing where you break up the words (it sounds more confusing than it really is) so i made a mock up of what a page in my sketchbook looks like, since my phone’s currently refusing to do anything but use the key pad (aka the button to snap a picture isn’t currently functioning)

Is it embarrassing that I made a mock up of a sketchbook page just to prove I’m doing something? Probably.

Anyways, now that the proof’s out of the way, I suppose I can talk about what I’ve been theorizing about. So, I’ve been reading a sociology text book over my lunch breaks at work (Yes, I am aware how nerdy I am, which explains why I’m single) and its been causing me a lot of grief but also peaking my interest. One, its forcing me to come to terms with my hatred of feminism (more the stereotypical feminism that sort of makes me want to vomit on the extremely hypocritical stance some women take). So, anyways, ironically enough abbychristensen (another stereotypical hater) texted me about how she feels it is bad news she is falling into a f-hole (feminist hole)
I, of course, laughed, because we both made it a sort of goal during our studies NOT to be pegged as such (for reasons I will discuss later in this)

So we instead managed to get into a discussion about how some feminist work actually doubles as institutional critique but isn’t known as such. I sort of feel the same way about some (art historically defined) “homosexual” work. It’s almost as if regardless of what your work is about or for, if you fall into the category of a woman or a gay or a minority, you’re making “feminist/gay/minority based” work.

Which led me of course down the path of institutional critique and borderline weberian/marxist theory regarding social structures. Of course, art history as an institution is subject to the same sort of classificatory systems we use in other fields/realms, so it’s only natural to attempt to “divide and conquer” so to speak as a way of compartmentalizing and comprehending art history as a whole through the lens of a categorical system. However, we tend to use that categorical system as a “if it’s this, it’s not this” sort of way, and therefore can misinterpret/mis-categorize a lot of works.

However harmless this may seem, it of course needs to be structurally questioned. Is it possible that these works have all been presented in a way that make it a one-motive piece (what I mean is that if its feminist work, for example, it’s not institutional critique. when it very well could serve multiple purposes/encompass multiple interpretations) Moreover, is this miscategorization serving a purpose?

Does mis-categorizing institutional critique works that aren’t overtly IC, then, serve to decentralize the movement and make it appear much smaller/widespread/significant? For example, it is easy to see how one could argue that performance based works (which a great many of feminist works are) would critique the institution’s ability to contain and sustain the work. However, in a single motive classificatory system, if it’s performance, it’s not IC. By looking at these works, however, and denying their IC undertones, are you then serving to validate the institution? It’s no coincidence that the institution controls and directs the canon of art history. By minimizing the appearance of IC, is it possible that the institution is seeking to validate itself and suppress opposition?

Anyways, food for thought I suppose, if any of that managed to make sense. Now, onto my strange feelings for feminism. One, feminist movements, on the surface, tend to be a bit of a one liner for me (I would compare my feelings towards its surface as those of Rowley Kennerk for Eva Hesse’s “Hang Up” piece) I mean, come on… read about some feminist art and you’re bound to encounter performance work involving some sort of deli meat.

Also, of course this is more on the individual, but certain feminists I have come into contact with tend to get angered at those women who would RATHER cook/clean/raise children, be a teacher/secretary/do other typical “woman” work, etcetera, when the whole premise of feminism is rooted in a woman’s ability to CHOOSE in the same way a man gets to. Which just sort of makes me angry.

I also find it a bit irritating, as a woman minority (I’m going to start using the term minority now on, since this applies to non dominants across the board—non whites, females, homosexuals, disabled, etcetera) that I should have to “deal” with that in my art. I was constantly told that throughout college. “Melissa, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’re a woman sometime”—-um…WHY?

My sociology background would naturally cause me to rebel against this obligatory task. I always wondered to myself why the white heterosexual males didn’t NEED to address THAT sometime. I mean examining the world’s population, white males are outnumbered at least 10 to 1. I understand, dominant culture and privilege, trust me, they’re concepts I more than get and I know they don’t have anything to do with actual numbers, ratios and percentages. But I feel like me having to “deal with it”, that is, asking me to reconcile my gender/race/disability status/sexuality, in order to participate in a dialogue is like asking me to JUSTIFY my presence and establish credibility that is hampered by my race/gender/disability status/sexuality. To me, that mandatory justification sounds and looks a lot like OPPRESSION rather than encouraging equality.

I need to stop thinking about this.

MP

23 Sept 2011

“And to think, all it took to get you protesting again was for a gay man not to get a shout out”
-Tom.

So, I made the screen.

Had a fantastic day up at our old alma mater with emilyvanhoff last Friday. Spied on some work (I’ll see more in November, wasn’t much up) Saw the show up at Seerveld currently (Everyone Knows Everything) which I’ll dedicate some more time to writing about in the next few entries I make (because I loved it) Got some inter-library loan books (probably one of the best things to ever happen to me or a library… especially Trinity’s since it’s art book section is rather lacking and ILL gives us the opportunity to get books from libraries like SAIC, Columbia, DePaul, etcetera)

Anyways, the screen resulted in a t-shirt. Next round is going to result in a lot more items, I’m sure (we sort of ran out of time because of an older class’s need for the room we needed to work in… so we went to the Thrift Store instead)

In the meantime, though, I have my t-shirt and my new clocks that came in:

Gracias, Etsy. You have allowed me to now have a necklace and bracelet with clocks. Add that to the pins emilyvanhoff made me and I’ve clearly gone insane.

Conniption reborn

So now that I’m done having my mini conniption fit that I threw yesterday while feeling like a [very adult world concerned] toddler, I can post this from my Tumblr with some additional thoughts/clarity and less emotional reaction.

So I was trying to suppress the mini conniption fit I was bound to have after this weekend, after my friend emilyvanhoff texted me about the FGT [Felix Gonzalez-Torres] retrospective currently taking place at the Art Institute of Chicago. I’m not at all upset by the retrospective, rather elated at the opportunity to see so many works in person. The problem here would rather be found in the wall text. I have an entire blog post about this so I won’t go into it much here but in short, no mention of Ross Laycock, Torres’ lover and ‘muse’ (for lack of a better term here) of his work. 

Then, I hear about this art tour that is done WHILE torres’ exhibit is up. No mention. Of him, nor Robert Gober, who for those who haven’t been to the AI, has an entire room in the Modern Wing [which was actually a little reminiscent of my interim class with Rowley Kennerk in which we were assigned artists to research, and when prompted by Matt Stolle to answer whether or not Robert Gober was a homosexual, the young man assigned to him responded that his research "made no indication" of this fact, which was hilarious considering it's actually mentioned in a lot of the books about him at the School of the Art Institute's library, where we were sent to research our artists (Note: I had Felix... how fitting)]

If this ends up being a more than one time tour then I will apologize for my insane tirade but come on, AI! It was an interesting interview, don’t get me wrong. I was happy to hear they had mentioned Robert Rauschenberg, Cy Twombly and Jasper Johns (although very briefly). It was interesting that they had chosen to look at works by Agnes Martin and Gustave Caillebotte [Two artists not typically "known" for their homosexuality]. But it would have been nice to have more of a range of artists, since there are so many currently featured at the Art Institute. Not as a “gay witch hunt” outing, but more as a reflection on how different artists were impacted by homosexuality and the role it played in their work [whether or not it even consciously did, for instance].***

It also definitely warranted more than 11 minutes as well. I mean, am I the only insane person here?

***I say consciously because I understand that from my perspective as a woman, I am not always producing work that seems to directly respond to the fact that I am a woman, but that simple fact can find itself informing some of the decisions I make or do not make, just as my upbringing and other aspects of my culture can.

Its all for Ross pt II

My lunch break was so productive. I didn’t eat anything (who needs to?), I just finished my drawing for the most part. Read pt. 1 of this entry to get the gist.

Sorry for the crappy photos. They’re taken with a cell phone (and not a ‘smart’ one at that) The full version is crooked, so the letters at the bottom appear to be extremely (relative) angled. But you can see from the close-up they’re not. I mean, they’re angled a bit but nothing I can’t alter once it’s scanned.

Note: Hand kerning/tracking is a difficult process when trying to replicate tiny typewritten text from a photocopied letter from 1988. [my life is so ridiculous, whatevs]

I love, love, love that the clocks and letters are now the same thickness. That was one of the things that was driving me NUTS before. Also, now “its all for” and “We are synchronized [...]” are now matching in type styles.

Quit laughin’, that crap erks me.

And yes, some of the letters in those two phrases appear to be faded or too thick, etcetera. It’s called distressing… and it’s also called replicating the original typeface off of the letter. aka completely intentional. It’s not written in a straight line, it’s not consistently kerned/tracked, it’s not consistently typed… this was 1988 typewriter people. Not photoshop with dafont.com

MP

EDIT

I got a better picture for y’all:

It’s all for Ross.

Sometimes, the institution really upsets me. I mean, I’m not one to naively believe we could completely do without structure at this point, but I just feel like things are taken advantage of, which is why I tend to have the utmost respect for institutional critique. (I provided a link to wikipedia for insitutional critique, for those of you who may be searching for context here unfamiliar with the term)
What is with this sudden (rebirth of) animosity? Well, my friend emilyvanhoff texted me a photo of Felix Gonzalez-Torres’s retrospective currently up at the Art Institute (she has seen firsthand what kind of powerful surge of random emotion comes over me when it comes to FGT so she sends me pictures of his work when she sees it…what a good friend [total emily shout-out]) (She sent me a picture of Untitled (Golden) (1995) for those who are curious.
Anyways, the text on the wall that the museum places—this is where it stems from. She pointed out to me that it seems absurd to her that they can post such text with no mention of Ross Laycock, whom Felix identified in a number of interviews with Robert Storr without remission as his audience. ["When people ask me, 'Who is your public?' I say honestly, without skipping a beat, 'Ross.' The public was Ross. The rest of the people just come to the work."]

No mention. I found myself wondering about the number of reasons the museum could choose to leave this out, and I won’t get into what I specifically suspect is the case here, but it just seems wrong to me that they would choose to omit this information, particularly because so many people respect the institution as the source of correct, truthful and wholly complete information. Although this is not the case, as many involved particularly in art history are aware, it is presented as such to the general public. Which I suppose shouldn’t concern me as much as it does but, in short, it does. It just feels like robbery.

Anyways, emily and i meditated on some solutions to make ourselves feel better about this issue, which included vandalism by way of addition of more vinyl lettering (if this happens, it honestly wasn’t us), a sign featuring more information to be worn by someone during museum hours, and t-shirts (Torres himself had a pension penchant for making t-shirts)

So, I made up a few mock screens.

Oh my life. Why oh why do I care so much about FGT?


EDIT:
One, fixed the lettering to a more structured Helvetica font which is cleaner (and more what I wanted) than the faux distressed look from before. Two, got rid of the black band. Three, re-spelled “synchronized” (thanks guys for being a good spell check… not!) I still have some issues with a couple of things but yeah. Here’s this version. If you want to hear more about why I thought the first ones needed change, please read the comments between Emily and I.
Technical aspects: utilized the typewriter style text from Felix’s letter to Ross, as well as his traditional drawings of two clocks synchronized to the same time, representing him and Ross.  In addition, I utilized a line from his letter to Ross that you’re probably familiar with if you’re looking at this blog (it’s my header, champs) which I feel gives the slogan some context. Simply slogan-ized Torres’ interview answer (posted above) into “It’s all for Ross”, and since Torres didn’t use apostrophes in his letter to Ross, I didn’t use them in the slogan. Also, the “We are synchronized [...]” is set up grammatically the same as Felix’s letter (capitalizations, sentence structure, spellings, punctuation, etcetera)








Might print these. 


MP

Recent work I’ve been admiring

via Tumblr

visual-poetry:“still” by liz collini

“still” by liz collini

christophercolvin:This is pretty much awesome.Will be passing on to Abby &amp; Emily. Thanks Chris.

This is pretty much awesome.

The desire for the ideal self leads women and men to believe that things can always get better, that identities can be more solid and ordered, that life can function more smoothly.  This in turn leaves people feeling dissatisfied with the present, alienated from social relations and constrained in their self-expression.
-Zygmunt Bauman