we’re just looking out different doors. [5.11.09]

Abandonment on all parts, all levels really, seems to be something everyone faces. Especially right now. Whether we feel we’re pushing back from something we don’t feel we’re good enough to really have, or if we feel like someone else is pushing back from us; or sometimes that God is pushing back from us. 

And I feel that a lot, not just from myself but from everyone around me feeling it. Some of it is “sympathy pains” as the medical professionals so lovingly call them, but some of it stems out of my own insecurities and frustrations. And really I’ve come to see that it stems out of both ends; it’s both me and the other person that are having a problem communicating. And sometimes the message is clear, really. It’s so clear that I don’t even want to have to deal with it, because dealing with it means I don’t neccessarily get to “win” this one; I don’t get to have my way. And let’s face it. my way, to me, is what’s best (for me). And sometimes the only person I can honestly see is me. And I need to take a second to appreciate the fact that I am sometimes lacking the ability to look out beyond my own story book to see that i am nothing; there’s so much more than me and you.

And this should be easy, really. Because we’re all wading through the same crap everyone else is. Shouldn’t I be able to recognize myself in all of this? SHouldn’t I be able to relate to all of it?

I do. That is, when I take the time to even look at it. 

But we need to look at it. After all, it’s one another who’s going through it. Not only that, but from a theological standpoint—It’s Christ going through it. And If i don’t have the time to at least see Him let alone take a look at the load He’s carrying, just what am i looking at?

This terrifies me to no end. As a Christian, how can I not be looking at Him? After all, He should be the center to what I do. I emphasize should because much like a child I don’t always do what I’m told. 

So what I really want to say is that I’m trying to see what’s going on with all of you. I’m trying to pray for all of you. I’m trying to take a look at what Christ is doing not only in my life, but in yours.

And I hope you take the time to look the same. 

And I hope all of you know that I love you. But more importantly, that He does. Because my love isn’t always great, or evident, or unfailing. But I hope you all can always tell His is.

“You do not support the Root, but the Root supports you.”-Romans 11:18

Cheer up now, and don’t you wait
It can’t be that bad, It’s just so late.
And I’m here too, and I’ve been there before
We’re just looking out of different doors
Cos I have walked in and out of all of it so many times. 
-The Harbours.


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