even smiling makes my face ache.

We’ve been reading past artist statements for senior seminar in preparation for our B.A. thesis show. I have some anxiety as a result from this solely because I read through a majority of them unable to decipher what was even being hinted at.

A portion of this, I’m sure, can be attributed to inexperience with writing, or even being unsure with what was even being attempted in the piece (sorry to ruin your lives, people outside of the art world, or even sound completely Freudian, but a majority of artists aren’t even aware of what they’re doing, either relying on subconscious decisions or simply acting on an impulse/pressure to create). A second, albeit less likely, option for this case is that they are intentionally trying to confuse/deceive the viewer.

Second, we were reading through VanLaar’s piece Active Sights (1997) as to talk about his position about the five roles of the artist (Entrepreneur, Social Critic, Social Healer, Intellectual and Craft). I found it quite difficult, if not impossible, to define most of my own work, let alone the work of others, into solely one category.

Regardless, there’s just a lot of things on my mind. I’ll get more into it eventually, I’m supposed to be watching Rocky Horror.

Eva Hesse, Aught


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