MP, Fair (In Progress), 2011
Yeah, I realize its out of character. But I’ve been drawing a lot of skeletons in my sketchbook (Zip it, Tom)
Anyways, I know they’re a lot more proportionate/realistic, but I’ve been inspired by Tim Burton’s characters, particularly Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas (Not to mention I’ve been staring at the cover of David Sedaris’ book When You Are Engulfed in Flames for about three weeks now as it sits on my end table waiting to be put back since I finished re-reading it for like the 1000th time).
Anyways, I was watching Nightmare Before Christmas, and naturally my obsessive nature kicked in to thinking about loss and love, which of course led to Felix and Ross, and anyways I ended up slightly depressed but also obnoxiously hopeful in this process. And this same sort of seemingly dichotomous feeling welled up in me again in a very real way while listening to Remy Zero’s “Fair”. Particularly at the line “So what if you catch me, where would we land?” which almost seemed to inadvertantly address the question I constantly struggled with as a child while watching Disney movies: What happens AFTER the “happily ever after” script text scrolls across the screen? Not to be a “Debbie Downer” as my sister and girl friends constantly referred to me when I asked the aforementioned question, but I feel its a valid one. You found ‘your man’. where do you go from there? it really isn’t over there. In a not meant to be a cliche hallmark statement, it’s really actually just starting.
RZ’s lyrics touched on this part of my psyche in that moment, leading me to believe that I’m really not alone in wondering. Finding the person may seem like the hard part, but making it work is really it. And making it work in the amount of time you have is really it.
Well anyways, my obsession with death really isn’t a shocker. My painfully new optimism sort of is though, as it has been made clear to me over the past year and a half really and is getting stronger by the day in an out of character sort of way that makes me a little sick. So I’ve been working with these skeletons I’m obsessing over, as well as these weird floral-like patterns I’ve been consistently covering pages with since I was about 6. I like imposing seemingly separate things onto one another. (As in something that typically represents life finding itself in proximity to something that typically represents death) Because lets be painfully real; The two things are way more intertwined than we’d care to admit.
“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.”