My thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth

Life’s been kind of crazy lately. I haven’t had much of a (social) life outside of Aurora since before Memorial Day weekend, actually. Some stuff kind of happened (wow, that’s specific and unusual?) and all my time and energy has been focused on that, when I’m not at work or doing daily (socially-determined necessary) tasks like brushing my teeth, eating or showering.

I’ve been forcing myself to write a page once a day (song, poem, rap… yes, I said rap) as a form of self-discipline. Plus, I’m not going to lie, it’s become extra apparent to me that I might be a robot lately, given my lack of emotional response to anything happening. It’s a solid way to “work things out”, I guess, without ever having to have the confrontational aspect of talking to another human being and forcing them to digest your thoughts/feelings (this whole process sounds sort of disgusting, is that a normal response?)

Anyways, after a month and a half of writing every day, not to mention about 30 too-legitimately-serious-2AM-conversations, I’m afraid I’m becoming overly-emotional. Which, you should probably note, my idea of ‘overly’ emotional is probably most people’s idea of borderline sociopath. Although I will say I thought there was a 40/60 chance I might cry the other day, but I fell asleep instead. So much for emotional breakthrough.

Also, because of all that writing as well as deep conversation, I’ve also started doing ink drawings. Mostly for a few friends. They’re whatevs.

Best,
MP

Title: Modest Mouse: The World at Large

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